Books: Review - Meltdown by Ben Elton

Satire is a difficult thing to get right. As simple as it looks on panel shows like Mock The Week or Have I Got News For You, behind the laughter lies teams of people trawling the news and random goings on of the world to fuel the comedy fire.

Meltdown, by Ben Elton, who's comedy pedigree involves writing Blackadder series 2-4 with Richard Curtis and The Thin Blue Line, is one example of how when a number of satirical topics gel together well, you know you've got something special.

As the cover (above) implies, the book's plot focuses around the recession and the fallout created after the collapse of Northern Rock, re-named in true Elton fashion as 'Caledonian Granite'.

“The recession? That's old news?!” I hear you cry (from very far off...quietly), well, keeping things right up to date – an impressive feat considering Elton spends much of his time in far-off Australia – the book touches on the likes of MP's expenses and cash for honours.

Elton, who has written 13 novels to date, has been criticised for his writing because his books often end unhappily, but really the important thing to note is that they always end as they would in the context of modern Britain. This is where Elton's satire gains its power; these are believable stories which could happen, and despite exaggerating at points, mostly they just follow a worrying aspect of UK culture through to a conclusion and see what happens.

The protagonist (you know, the main guy) this time around is Jimmy, a banker was ousted from his job when phrases like 'sub-prime' and 'negative equity' began to creep in to the media. Despite living up to the reputation of his stereotype to a degree - he is (or was) a high-flying, arrogant executive who doesn't know the value of money or the meaning of hard work – but Meltdown takes us on a light-hearted tour of what his life has become and how in many ways the fact that his ideal world has crumbled around him is for the best.

Jimmy belongs to an exclusive group representing the various aspects of high society: from Lizzie, the hard-working business woman with a world-famous catering business, David, an architect designing a building to bridge countries together, and Henry, a junior MP making his way up the ranks of the Commons.

The book is delivers what we've come to expect from Elton, though pointedly without any overly-graphic moments seen in earlier works, and Jimmy is one of the easiest of his characters to connect with, which helps draw in the reader every step of the way, from highs to lows; flashbacks to the present day.

For those who break into a grin at the thought of an MP pondering whether using his wife's hair-dryer occasionally qualifies it to be claimed on expenses is just the kind of person who will love Meltdown. For those who think Qi and Celebrity Big Brother are on the same cultural wavelength...I'm sure there's something exciting waiting for you on PriceDrop TV...

Verdict: 9/10

Surpassed only by earlier works like Chart Throb and Dead Famous, this is fun for the whole family – especially if you're a banker.

So it's the great noughties depression is it?

With the news that the country is in 'official' recession, it's time to address the issue once and for all.

Rule of thumb states a country must go through two consecutive quarters of consecutive negative growth to be 'in recession'. Finally, this has been confirmed in Britain, but does that really matter now?

Some economists claim the country has being going down the tubes since April last year, while many countless thousands have lost their jobs while the country fidgeted uneasily in limbo, unsure whether reality was as horrificly dim as it seemed.

"There is no fear, but fear itself": an easy thing to say, but much harder to do, personally I prefer my own version: "The only real way to overcome fear, is to face it".

Currently, people who were once in the most secure of jobs are tugging at their collars nervously, but the foundation of the problem (as far as I can make out) is the general public's fear of losing everything.

Of course it's easy for students to remain unaffected; they either had no money in the first place (those un-subsidised by parents or Government) or are striving on blindly regardless (the rest). Businesses themselves are obviously the most affected area, as I reported only a few weeks ago, but individual's savings up to £50,000 are guaranteed by law, so by rights the long winding queues of Northern Rock's demise are, or should be, a thing of the past.

Sadly, children's lives aren't necessarily so blessed, with house repossessions rising to one per seven (SEVEN!) minutes according to the ONS.

I've come up with a simple solution: stop going on about it.

Fair enough, it might take a year or two before things are running smoothly again, but nothing is going to move forward while people are still worrying and paralysed by indecision on whether they should go on that holiday to Tuscany.

To that end, I'm going to do my part for my 'master plan' to fight the forces of shock-and-awe journalism and not mention the financial crisis, the credit crunch, the downturn, the recession, the collapse of the high street or sub-prime mortgages anymore.

It's not that I don't appreciate there's a problem, I just attribute a lot of it down to the typical mass hysteria and scaremongering from the venomous tabloids, though in contrast some papers got the right idea.

At the end of day history takes it's course, insert whatever generic saying you like, but this is something British people can actually affect, perhaps it's time to be a little more selfish and worry about our own future first before we paw with futility at the next biggest buzz-kill: the environment.

2009: excitement and horror in journalism jobs

A new year, a new start, or so goes the old cliché.

Of course, for many people the new year will bring as much misery and boredom as the previous year did, but generally it's obvious that due to 2008 being pretty dire, 2009 will be a step up for most people. A chance to prove yourself that 'things can only get better'.

People are keen to leave horrors like the to oft mentioned credit crunch, wildly fluctuating petrol prices and death of high street main-stays like Woolworths and Zavvi behind, but there's a real chance that 2009's economic climate will be even worse, causing more job losses and tightening of pockets.

Economics though, as much as it interests me, is not afront my mind this year, because this is the year I have to get a job, hopefully a good job.

On last count there were around 100 journo jobs on Gorkana, so with all the doom and gloom there are jobs out there, albeit probably not dream jobs, but this isn't the most fun time of year for that sort of thing.

Magazines are where it's at, but with BBC Mags on a recruitment freeze (though the Deputy Head himself admitted to being horribly bad at enforcing it), things still seem bleak. Opportunities abroad seem to be becoming more common, with vacancies boasting exotic locations such as Lisbon, Dubai, Frankfurt, Abu Dabi and Cyprus.

The thought of leaving the rainy shores of England for a warmer climate may seem exciting, but there is of course the uncertainty of whether it will pay off, not to mention adapting to a new culture - depending on which destination you choose - may prove difficult.

In the end, this is a time to be bold. Whatever the end result, one thing is certain: luck and determination will mean more than qualifications ever have.

It's the end of the world as we know it?

Times are changing, theres no doubt about it, and when the world turns to bring in 2009, things definitely will change, but will it be for the better or worse.

For me, 2009 is key. It sees the end of my spell at the University of Central Lancashire (UCLan) and the beginning of my life in the world of work.

The certainty that journalism is changing is absolute, the number of times I've heard the word 'convergence' in the past three years begs belief, but despite this I remain optimistic.

The truth of the matter is, getting into an industry as diverse and enthralling as journalism was never easy. Even back in the 'good old days' there was just as much stress and competition for the top jobs. Maybe it was easier to get a job in any old regional newspaper, but that's not what I'm aiming for in any case.

Truth be told, I don't mind where I start, so long as I get to where I want in the end. Right now, that place is behind the Editor's desk of my very own magazine. Of course this idealist vision may change as all of my young naivities wash away, but the importance of having something to aim for is always strong.

The financial crisis is a talking point, and I don't wish to dwell on it now, but one thing it does represent is the power of confidence. These volatile times call for a strong stand, and I'm going to make sure I'm ready.